2011...Bring It!

2010 was a very good year for the Dansicker family. Most importantly, there were NO hospital visits! I saw my 40th birthday come and go without much ado, Andy hired a full-time associate in his new solo practice, and all three children continue to thrive and grow in their own unique ways. Henry's lifelong dream came true with the arrival of his own chickens this spring; Audrey is blossoming into a confident, sensitive young girl; and little Stanley remains content, happy and easy going.

In 2011, I hope to spend more time actually playing with my children as opposed to scheduling playdates and activities for them to play without me. All three kids started to ice skate in 2010, so I hope to get out there more often to enjoy the free skates with them. Even though life with three kids can be difficult, if not tiring at times, the joy that I extract from them each and every day more than rewards all the blood, sweat and tears. I am grateful to have my three little chicks and of course, their daddy too.

We are already looking forward to many special moments in the new year shared with family and friends. And in the final hours of 2010, I'd like to remember the incredible people we lost and will miss in the years ahead...Janice Dansicker and Larry Bensky. We love you. We miss you. And...we will see you again one day.

Have a happy, healthy New Year!

Life's Twists and Turns

On this week of thanks, I have spent many hours thinking about the different turns – minor and major – that life seems to have for me. Whether it’s leaving the chickens out to be slaughtered by the foxes changing my children’s course for a brief yet intense moment, or having a small disagreement with my older sister that spirals into an emotional conundrum, we all face bumps along the way in our path to happiness.

But I am always amazed, no matter how frequently I encounter these diversions, at how unprepared I am for each and every one. Maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe I shouldn’t be waiting for the next bad thing to happen. Instead, I live my life taking in and appreciating the good in my life – a spontaneous giggle from my little Stanley, my private conversations with Henry in his bed each night, or the fire in Audrey’s eyes when she is singing a top forties tune at a feverish pitch.

I guess it is better to just expect the unexpected in a way that doesn’t paralyze me from enjoying all that is good in front of me. And when the bad does finally visit, deal with it in its totality. Feel it. Grieve it. Understand it. Deal with it. Then move on from it. I think you have to incorporate all the twists and turns in your life as if they were meant to play a part in your happiness. I know it is easier said then done…for sure…but what else are we supposed to do?

My strategy is to surround myself with good people who support me whenever I am feeling weary. I don’t think anyone can bear the burden of this life on their own...it’s just too difficult to find peace in a world that inevitably shakes you up. So those of you who catch me before I fall, hold me up when I am failing, give more than you take from me…I thank you.

Have a happy, happy thanksgiving…and may you find peace in the company of those who love you.

Happy Thoughts…Jenny

Good Night, Sweet Chicks

What an amazing journey we have been on raising these three little chicks. They grew so fast, as we watched them blossom. We fell in love with them instantly…and watched over them with such pride and love. Now, Henry, Audrey and Stanley have proven to be the best three chicks a mommy could wish for.

 

After one long sleepless night, mommy woke to her little chicks who quickly mourned the loss of their ill-fated pets, but showed a maturity and understanding about the whole experience that showed their true resilience. After a very sad evening with many tears, my children woke with questions and thoughts, “How will I tell my friends?” “Will we get more chickens?” “I wish my chicken didn’t die” “It’ll be okay, mommy, we’ll be okay.”

I let the chickens out around 4pm and just forgot to put them back in the coop. I remembered around 6pm when we were driving home from dinner. The children ran to the coop to see if the chickens were there but sadly they were not...and we all knew what that meant. All three of the children ran to me in tears…daddy tracked down the remains…we had the children say their last ‘goodbyes’ to their loving pets….we had more tears…and lots of hugs and kisses. Mommy told them it wasn’t their fault, that it was a mistake, but as long as we have each other we can get through anything. I held them tightly and told them it would be okay. What else could I do?

It was a very hard evening, but already I have learned how easily young children can heal. Henry is excited about the possibility of picking out new chickens. Audrey is looking forward to showing her new baby chicks to her friends. And Stanley is just happy that his friend Matan is coming over for a playdate after school.

Mommy, however, is exhausted. Exhausted from the worry that comes from loving your children too much. But as I kissed my children goodbye this morning on their way to school, Stanley turned to me and said, “Mommy, I’m happy.” And at that moment, I knew everything was going to be okay.

Thank you to everyone who reached out to me last night and today for comfort. It helped us all to heal in a very real way.  All our love, Happy Thoughts….

Happy 43rd Birthday Andy!

As many of you know I have a very special man in my life. He has given me all that is good in this world…my children, my home, my life, and my happiness. Today is Andy’s 43rd birthday, so I wanted to take a minute to tell you a little bit about the man I love on his special day.

Andy is an extremely easy man to please. He is very passionate about three things: his children, his wife and his work…in that order. He is not a demonstrative man, but his actions speak louder than his words. He is home every night at 6pm to have dinner with his family. He spends quality time with each one of his children every week whether it’s reading their favorite book, kicking a soccer ball around or just lounging in front of the television. He is present in their lives and they love their daddy. Audrey, in particular, has a very special relationship with her father. He is the only one who can tuck her into bed at night in his safe, loving way. I always tell people, “if I have done one thing right in this life…it was picking the right father for my three children.”

Andy is a hard-working man who is always there for his family and for mine. He has a tender heart and a wickedly active mind. He makes me laugh and knows how to make me feel appreciated in his own unique way. I love him very much and hope he knows that I am always here to support him in all he wants to do in life. He is my partner, my love, and my friend.

I love you, honey. Happy, happy birthday. Your wife, Jenny

"Thank You"

Sometimes it is hard to comprehend the depth and meaning of the words “thank you.” I thought about it all weekend after a perfect day at my children’s school because I really wish I could impart what the words truly mean when I say them. It was parent’s visitation day for all three of my children, Henry (2nd grade), Audrey (1st grade) and Stanley (kindergarten). I was a little stressed out about juggling my time with each one, so between my twin sister Julie, my husband and I, we managed to see all three without skipping a beat.

Julie was amazed at how comfortable and confident Henry was in his Math and Reading class. While I had the pleasure of seeing Henry with his Hebrew teachers, Morah Stein and Morah Dina. Both teachers embraced their class with enthusiasm and joy…my son looked on with pride as I watch him. Pride in himself and his teachers…and all I could think about in that moment was how far Henry has come from being a very sick little boy with severe asthma that prompted frequent hospital visits almost every month for the first three years of his life to a happy, confident, well-loved 2nd grader. It was agonizing watching him struggle to breathe all the time, but Henry always faced it with ease and calmness. Now, when I see him laughing with his friends, waving his hand feverishly with confidence in class, I think about how thankful I am to the teachers who watch over him all day with such love and care. He used to be my fragile little angel, and now he is growing into a kind, smart, loving, boy who cares deeply for others.

Audrey smiled from the very minute I arrived that day. Her teacher Ms. Simon was brilliant as usual, completely in command of her classroom guided with compassion and intelligence. Audrey stayed focused and as you would expect of a little girl, performed for us like a rock star. Ms. Simon stopped at one point to say “hello” to me and introduce herself to my sister who was seated next to me without flinching or missing a direction in her lesson. It was like watching a gold medal syncronized swimmer in competition. I was so thankful at that moment to have a role model for my daughter who symbolizes strength, warmth and dignity. Audrey is not an easy child because she is strong-willed, opinionated and smart like her mamma, but Ms. Simon gained her trust and Audrey responds easily to Ms. Simon. Last week, Audrey came home and said, “Morah Ziffer said I should do things the first time I am asked. So from now on, I am going to be a good listener and do everything you ask of me the first time.” THANK YOU, Morah Ziffer! Audrey is a strong girl who has met her match in two amazingly strong, compassionate women. Keep on teachin!

Then you have my little Stanley. Small, but confident, focused yet fun. Content and happy 24/7. He has a face and disposition that seems to reel everyone in. My sister was watching him with Mrs. Waxman and Mrs. Lowenthal and said to me, “They love your son, Jenny.” I know they do. I watched as Mrs. Lowenthal bent over to give my son Tzedukah money, which I had forgotten to pack for him mistakenly. Waxman/Lowenthal is a mighty one-two punch…they are a knock down, drag out, powerful team of teaching excellence. They don’t miss anything and they love my child almost exactly the way I do every single day. How do I say “thank you” for that type of commitment?

I will lay it on the line and tell you that I have been through a lot in my life. I have lost. Lost my mother, my father, my brother and a baby. Nothing can replace them, or dissuade the pain of the memories that surface every time I have a good or bad moment that I wish I could share with them. But when I have a day like Friday, when I see and feel the attention to detail my Beth Tfiloh teachers have for all the children, my heart is at peace. Thank you, Mrs. Waxman, Mrs. Lowenthal, Morah Shapiro, Morah Shoshi, Ms. Simon, Morah Ziffer, Mrs. Balser, Morah Dina and Morah Stein. You all are the gift I give to my children every day and for the rest of their lives. Thank you for doing it so well and with such love.  “Thank you!”

The Talk? Really...In 2nd Grade

Henry (4) and Mommy

Like a comet that swoops down from the night sky, spontaneously, spectacularly, my seven-year-old son, Henry asked me last night, “How are babies made?” No, I wasn’t prepared, but in the back of my mind, I remember an expert saying, “Tell them, when they ask you.” So, I didn’t flinch, I just let him question me about the subject and out of the conversation came unexpected laughter.

Henry: “How do a mommy and a daddy make a baby?”

Mommy: “Well, just like the chickens, you need a hen and rooster. The hen has the eggs and the roosters have the sperm. They come together and fertilize the egg to make a baby.”

Henry: “How does the sperm come out of the rooster?”

Mommy: “From the penis. Throughout their lives, men create sperm in their testicles and women are born with all their eggs.”

Henry age 3

LAUGHTER, GIGGLES, HYSTERIA

Henry: “How does the sperm get into the hen?”

Mommy: “How do you think?”

Henry: “You squirt it into the girl’s mouth.”

HOLD BACK THE LAUGHTER MOMMY

Mommy: “No, think a little lower.”

Henry: NO IDEA

Mommy: “The vagina.”

Henry: LAUGHTER. SURPRISE. “What? I have to put my penis in a vagina?....You’re gonna have to blindfold me mommy, if I am gonna have to do that!”

Henry age 9 months

SMILE

Henry: “How do you know if the sperm reached the egg?”

Mommy: “You don’t. You could do it once or 100 times, only God knows when the sperm will reach the egg and make a baby.  That’s why you should wait until you are married to try making one.”

And with that…I said “goodnight, Henry.”

I felt content that we covered this un-chartered territory with dignity, intelligence, and levity. I told him just enough, and we laughed through all the new information, and now, thankfully, my son won’t think you spit sperm into a girl’s mouth to make a baby. 

And even though we had “The Talk,” I still feel like Henry has his innocence in tact. It didn’t change him, it didn’t make him grow up faster, but he feels comfortable thinking about the subject which is bound to come up amongst his peers.

I feel relieved that it went so well and I don’t feel like my baby, my lovable, sweet, kind Henry is any different today, than he was yesterday. Wow…I am sure glad I was there to see that comet coming!

Reflections at 40!

Julie and Jenny - Bus Ride to NYC (10-16-2010)

I have to admit that it has been a long year leading up to my 40th birthday this weekend. I have thought long and hard about how I imagined my life would be, how it truly is and what more I may want in the future. Here are just of few of my thoughts about what it means to be 40. So here it goes…

40 means:

•    Having three beautiful, funny, smart, healthy children
•    A husband who I have to beg at this point to treat me like his girlfriend after 13 years, but whom I love, love, love and respect.
•    A twin sister who I talk to five times a day with every minute detail of my life
•    A best friend of almost 30 years who continues to believe in me and love me unconditionally
•    A school community of friends, family and teachers who support me on a daily basis with such care and thoughtfulness
•    Being able to listen to music and actually relate to every lyric with some personal experience, good and bad
•    Being commander of my life
•    Having a job that fulfills me and gives me purpose in ways that my children and family cannot
•    Having the means to do, buy and say whatever I want, whenever I want
•    Pick and choose the relationships in my life that bring meaning without draining me to the core
•    Gaining and losing 10 pounds yet still feeling good about my body
•    Having the desire to make my life the best it can be…before its over
•    Taking time for myself because I deserve it
•    Having perspective that allows me to weed out the good, the bad and the unnecessary stress in my life
•    Feeling good about who I have become and where I am going regardless of what anyone else says or thinks.

And those are just a few of things that I have contemplated over the last few months leading up to my 40th birthday. It really does feel like a brand new start to my life. I want the next 40 years to be filled with all the things I wished for in the first forty but didn’t know how to get them. I feel strong, I feel empowered, and I feel ready for the future.

I am blessed to have all that I have at 40 and so grateful to the people in my life (you KNOW who you are) and to God for giving me the strength to see this day. THANK YOU!

Turning 40!

Powder Puff Football Pikesville High - 1987 (Julie, Lisa, Jenny, Jodi & Kim)

Well, I am preparing a blog that accurately depicts my state of mind at 40! But...it won't be finished until tomorrow, soooo....I decided to put up some embarrassing photos of myself....along with a few others that you just might recognize. Think of it as a photo essay of turning 40!  Enjoy... and look for my actual blog tomorrow!

Thanks again for all the birthday thoughts and wishes!  It's great to be 40! Love, Jenny

1998-Central Park (Jenny, Emma & Andy)

1998 - Jersey City

Annie, Nancy, Debbie, Jenny & Bridget

Sue Fox, Jody Israel, Jenny White, Stacy Sugarman, Sheryl Fox, Jenn, Dori Mechanic

Stacy, Julie & Jenny - 1992

Sheryl Fox, Julie, Sue Fox, Jenny - 1987

Jenny, Dena Rubenstien, Lisa Leon and Julie - 1986

Andy & Jenny- Italy 1998

Jenny

Eggs!!

As many of you know, we got new born chicks on June 22 of this year and TODAY...they gave us eggs. It was so exciting. Henry, Audrey and Stanley were joined by their friend and cousin, Austin, in the backyard after school. They opened up the back of the coop and THERE THEY WERE! Happiness! Excitement!

We are having fried eggs in the morning!

Jenny

Friendship? What is it?

The definition of friend certainly does change over time; at least it did for me. When I was young, I used to seek out friends who needed me. I had an insatiable need to please no matter how large the self sacrifice. The more I gave, the more I belonged to someone. But the truth is, the more I gave the less I had to give.

Over the years, I built my reputation on being strong, outspoken, and yes, giving. But what I learned after many draining years is that I don’t have to give my soul to feel good about myself anymore. I have accepted that what I am is good enough and what I have to give is proportional to what I need.

So, what does this all really mean…it means that I am finally comfortable choosing friends who give more than they take from me. Today proved to be a great example. I have been acquaintances with one of my Bat Mitzvah group members for almost two years. We’ve never spoken on the telephone, we’ve never sat down to eat a meal together, and I have never shared any significant life experiences with her that would develop our bond into a friendship. Yes, we did study together every Wednesday night for 18 months, but we were focused on the class and its meaning which left little time for us to be really anything more than acquaintances.

I always valued our time together. Melissa seemed like a genuinely kind and caring person who would be a good friend to anyone. She is smart and funny, loves her children and supports the causes that are important to her heart. I felt good around her whenever we were together.

I have seen Melissa a few times since our June Bat Mitzvah, but only for a few minutes here and there. But today, she showed me what true friendship is. Thursday of this week, I blogged about “Larry’s Ride,” a charity event that raises awareness for bicycle safety and honors my fallen cousin Larry Bensky. Unbeknownst to me, Melissa read my blog and came out today to show her support, she rode 42 miles, stopped at the sight of Larry’s accident which was marked by a bright orange pumpkin and hundreds of stones left by all the bikers today, and paused to say the Mourner’s Kaddish for my dear cousin and friend.

When I saw Melissa and learned of this kindness, I felt the meaning of true friendship. It was an unselfish display of affection for me, for my family and for the cause. Why did she do it? It doesn’t really matter why…what’s important is that her altruism and thoughtfulness showed me for the first time in a long time what true friendship should be. Thanks Melissa….for giving so unassumingly and unconditionally. It means a great deal to me.

Larry's Ride - A Cause Dear To My Heart

The purpose of this blog is to give me an outlet for what is going on in my life. A voice for what is in my heart. A place to share my life, my children and my family with people I care about. People I hope that will be affected as much as I am by the mundane and sometimes sublime events in my life. 

This weekend my cousin and close friend, Tammy Bensky, has organized the first annual bike ride for her husband, Larry, who was killed earlier this year in a tragic biking accident. Friends, family and the community have all rallied around Tammy and her little girls Gabi, 8 and Katelyn, 4 to honor Larry’s memory and to spread the word about bicycle safety. “Larry’s Ride” also benefits the scholarship fund for the children.

I hope that if you have a few hours to spare this Saturday, September 25, you will join Henry, Audrey, Stanley, Andy and I in the festivities from 11:30am to 3pm at Spring Meadow Farms.  You don’t have to participate in the biking (we are not), there will be a lot of fun things to do with the family – moon bounces, hay mazes, petting zoo and a bbq.

This cause is so dear to my heart that I wanted to share it with you. Hope to see you there! Thanks in advance for your support.

Fore more information: www.larrysride.com

Bird Man!

Never in a million years would I have imagined having a son that is so inspired, enraptured and captivated by birds. Where does this little boy come from?

Henry has been obsessed with birds since he was two years old. Their wings, their feathers, the way they fly, the way they sound...his interest NEVER ends. It amazes me how much his love of birds has taught him about life. Sometimes, I think I am talking to a philosopher wise beyond his years.

Yesterday, we visited a friend who has 12 chickens and I couldn't get Henry to leave. Take a look at my oh-so-handsome, incredibly sensitive, and loving Birdman!


Jenny

$3.52 of Alone Time!

Some people might think I have completely lost my mind when I spontaneously took my seven-year-old son Henry out to the 7-Eleven at 9:45pm at night on a school night. But what those naive onlookers don't release is that I promised my very sensitive, mommy-centered son "alone time" last week and completely forgot or hoped that Henry had. Apparently he didn't.

When I went to kiss Henry good night this evening, I noticed he was crying. Of course, I had no idea why until I serendipitously put my hand under his pillow as I went to comfort him and found a note. A hand written note from Henry that read, "2 days intil allon time." I was affected to say the very least. I felt so sad that my little boy had kept this reminder under his pillow with great anticipation and after days of patience, broke down in tears because Mommy had forgotten her promise.

Anyone who has multiple children knows that it is difficult to juggle the needs of each individual child. Giving equally doesn't always mean 10 minutes for each kid. My kids all need differently and it is my job to determine when and how long they need time alone with me. It can be a complicated and emotional tug-of-war trying to do right by my children, but I do the best I can. Tonight I found out how imperfect and tired I had become with the task.

I wiped Henry's tears away as the clock ticked past 9:45pm and said, "Let’s do it right now. Lets take that alone time together. It's not too late." He was surprised but happy. So off we went into the night, Henry in his pajamas, me with no makeup and a sports bra. We hopped into the car and hit one of our favorite places together. 24/7-Eleven. We split a DELICIOUS Reese's Peanut Butter Cup and he got a lemonade and glazed donut. That's right sugar...and more sugar at 10pm on a school night. But my son grinned with a knowing that he was special to mommy...he smiled knowing that he doesn't always have to share mommy with his siblings.

My son Henry is my heart. When I saw him in distress tonight, my heart weakened and when I saw him singing along with our favorite song on the radio while we drove home, my heart was filled with happiness. The moral...listen to your children...they need you sometimes when you least suspect it...surprise them with your ability to bend without breaking.

Happy Thoughts, my Henry. Sweet dreams!

Dieting Sucks!

Okay, there are a few goals that I'd like to reach before I turn 40 in four weeks. One, lose 10 pounds. Two, lose 10 pounds. And, three lose 10 pounds. It may sound like the easiest thing in the world to some, but it is one of the most difficult goals to achieve for me because I LOVE FOOD! Food is so amazing. I love the sweet, cold taste of a soda, the warm, hearty flavor of a pepperoni pizza and a rich, moist bite of Chili's Molten Chocolate Cake. How do people diet?

I joined Brick Bodies two weeks ago and I have been very faithful to my workout...but that is not the hard part. I have never been a fan of exercise but it is really the smallest battle in the fight against this weight. I run, I sweat, I lose 150 calories. Done. Fine.

Then the hard part begins. How little can I eat during the course of the day? What disgusting type of dietetic version of real food must I substitute today? How do I cut calories without starving to death? I guess I should stop complaining about it and realize that I am turning 40 and there are some facts that come with the territory. My metabolism is just slowing to a flicker and I have a history of diabetes, so I have to look forward and protect myself from whatever fate will through my way.

But, I am determined to lose those 10 pounds without sacrificing everything that I love. I will let you know how it goes. Happy Thoughts...

Love, Jenny

L'Shana Tova!

I have taken time in the last few days to really think about what the celebration of the New Year means to me. Everyone keeps asking me, "Why aren't you writing a New Year's blog?," but I just wasn't feeling the urge to share. I think the celebration of a new year is bittersweet because I have lost so many that I loved. Lost a mother, a father, a brother, a cousin, a mother-in-law, and though I know I have so much to be happy for, on these days of rememberance, I remember.

Sometimes memories get in the way of the happiness right in front of my own eyes. My children, my husband, my family and my friends remind me every day why I should go on with my life. I have a blessed life and I am grateful to God for all that he has given me. But somehow on these high holidays it doesn't remove or alter the sting of what used to be and the love I miss from all those who are not here to share in the celebration.

So, I remember, and I keep my head high for my children and for all the family and friends who look to me for love, friendship and a sense of community. I feel honored to live this cherished life and hope in the days ahead I will find a little more peace in knowing that what was lost is not forgotten and that one day I will celebrate with them again.

I wish all my dear friends and family a wonderful, happy, new year! Hold those you love tightly and make  the most of this New Year.

All my love,

Jenny

Happy Thoughts for the Weekend!

The Growing Dansickers

Today a very dear friend took the time to send me her “happy thoughts” and it made my day. The thought of my blog becoming a viral way to encourage people to remember the good in their lives is a very unexpected reward. In the spirit of good thoughts, I thought I would tell you a few “happy thoughts” of my own that happened this week:

1.    Stanley (my kindergartener) explained that he was very excited about learning computers at school. “It’s really cool mom, we learned how to play with the “rat” and it was a lot of fun.” Of course, “the rat” in actuality was “the mouse,” but my little boy reminded me that there are people out their in the world still seeing things for the very first time. I am getting older, but Stanley helps me to see things for the first time with every new experience.
2.    I got an email from a school parent who wanted to thank me because my daughter, Audrey, has been coaching her son every day this week. When Audrey’s classmate was sad and missing his mommy during the first week of school, Audrey comforted him by saying, “Don’t think about it. You will be okay…and you’ll see her later.” I felt proud that my daughter, who was nervous to return to school herself, summoned the courage to help another in need and with such ease. Audrey has always had this uncanny ability to dissuade her own fears by comforting those of another. It is one of her best qualities. I am so proud of you Auddie girl!
3.    Henry…Henry…now that’s a happy thought. Henry is such an easy kid and he is having a good second grade year so far. I served hot lunch for the first time this year and as I was sitting with Henry at the lunch table, I noticed an unfamiliar face starring at Henry and I. It was Henry’s new Hebrew teacher. I approached her and after knowing Henry just a few short days, she said to me, “He’s such a sweet little boy. Such a good boy.” I never get tired of hearing those words. Henry’s moral compass is permanently set for gentle and steady…he’ll make a very good husband one day…just like his daddy.

There you go… I did it!... a no-tear blog…so all of you complaining of needing tissues to read my stories…have faith…I am capable of delivering happy thoughts without tears.

Have a great weekend…and thanks for taking the time to read my “happy thoughts!”

Love, Jenny

Missin’ Marky…

I thought I would take a moment and remember my older brother Mark who would have been 49 today. He died of pneumonia and complications from a stroke three and half years ago. He was a quiet man who lived life simply. He loved his family and oddly enough QVC. When he passed away, we found all these Samari swords and nicknacks that he had secretly collected.

“Marky” never had children or ever married. He kept to himself for most of his life, but those who knew him found him amiable and always helpful. He was only 5’9 but he was the strongest person I have ever known. He moved me from dorm to dorm three times in college almost single handedly.

He made me smile and when I think of him today, I remember his laugh when I tickled him. Or even when I gave him a good punch in the arm. He was a good big brother to me…and I miss him being a part of my family of five…just four left…doesn’t quite feel the same without you. See you one day…love you, Jenny.

Fun Food - Silly Spaghetti

Here is just a little silly video I thought you might enjoy. I know I shouldn't encourage my children to play with their food, but it's so darn cute and they ARE eating it...which is a big deal in the Dansicker house.

Have a great day and happy thoughts!

Audrey CAN Be Taught!

My six-year-old daughter Audrey walks to the beat of her own drummer. And most days, I am thrilled that she has a vivacious spirit that is not easily broken or deterred. But trying to get her to participate in recreational sports of any kind including gymnastics, tennis, t-ball, basketball...hasn't always been easy. I don't like to think about how many non-refundable deposits I have lost trying to get her to enjoy a sport.

I was about to give up completely when she expressed some interest in Keith Van Eron's soccer after seeing her younger brother, 5, Stanley doing it. So, I signed her up eight weeks ago. I was nervous but hoped she would do well. Audrey doesn’t like to fail and she likes doing things her way. Not an easy trait to deal with when you are trying to teach her a new skill. Keith Van Eron was the answer to my prayers. He got her to enjoy the sport and learn the necessary skills to succeed without pissing her off. A monumental feat that is unparalleled to date.

Audrey went willingly and excitedly to each practice and this past Sunday received her very first trophy for her accomplishment. She beamed with pride as she accepted her prize.

Thank you Keith Van Eron for your patience, your drive and your ability to teach my daughter with great fun and silliness. It worked...and more than that, it has given her a new found confidence in herself. Hallelujah! Mommy is so proud of you Auddie, girl. You too Manny!

http://www.keithvaneron.com/

Bravery in our midst

Bravery is not a word that I think about frequently. I guess it's because it is difficult to qualify during the course of our ordinary lives. But today, I witnessed a truly brave mother at her daughter's 4th birthday party. Just four months ago, this young, beautiful, happy and unsuspecting mom, lost her husband of 16 years in a tragic biking accident that robbed this family of a father, husband and friend.

Now, after months of greiving, she must continue to celebrate the milestones in her young daughters lives. I know personally that in the first year of losing a loved one, we don't know how to navigate the new territory of life without the important players. It's an unknown that is difficult to convey sometimes, but those who have lost know what I am talking about.

With each birthday or major holiday, I hold my breath for this very brave mom, who stares down adversity with a fierceness that is inspiring and compelling and makes me want to weep when I am in her presence. Today, I walked into the birthday party missing my friend and sad that he wasn't there to see his little girl turn four. I was prepared to feel sad, but when I saw the calmness, even the smile on the face of this extraordinarily brave mother, I felt strong.

Bravery is among us. It inspires us to live our lives without fear and regret. It gives us hope each day and reminds us that bad things happen but it is how we move forward that is the testament to our own bravery. I am so thankful to be witness to this bravery every week. You know who you are....we should all be so brave.

"F" for Service

For the first time in seven years...seven years...all three of my children were having a sleepover with their Aunt Julie, so my husband and I joined some friends for dinner at Mezze in Fells Point this evening. We looked forward to this night with great anticipation on so many levels. One our children felt comfortable enough to be without us...big...we don't have to pay a babysitter $100...huge...and we are avid foodies who had heard so many good things about one of the hottest restaurants in Baltimore. Good food. Good friends.


We were escorted upstairs to a little table in the corner surrounded by what seemed to be an authentically boisterous Greek family celebrating some occasion. The mood was festive and the night looked promising...until the waiter approached our table with just a hint of disdain in his eyes. He inquired as to whether we were ready to order after being seated for all of thirty seconds. Usually, that would inspire confidence, in this case arrogance. We begged just a few extra minutes to review the menu and with a little roll of his eyes, he left us for another five minutes. Never a smile, never an interest in our questions or concerns.

Watered down Sangria arrived at our table and even though we mentioned the inadequacy of the house favorite, the waiter was neither interested nor respectful. Food ordered, we enjoyed one another's company. Seventeen tapas later, which included a mouth-watering Spinach pie, stewed lima beans, tuna carpaccio and leg of lamb, just to name a few, we were satiated and lost interest in our waiter's disinterest.

Finally, the check arrived and when we noticed that we were paying $18 for two sodas and a few refills, we decided to test our waiter’s patience one last time. His reply, "This is a high-class place, not a fast food restaurant. We don't have fountain soda; we have to use a bottle of soda for each refill. Sorry." Comically insulted, my friend, calmly summoned the manager over to discuss the cost of the soda. She very graciously charged us for two sodas, and we ended the evening with the memory of great food, great company and exceedingly horrendous service. Food "A+." Service "F."

Good Eats for Lunch! - Di Pasquale's

Delicious lunch today at  Di Pasquale's in Canton/Highlandtown with my husband, Andy and his father, Marty. It was my first time and it wasn't pretty driving down there even though it's only minutes from my office at the Baltimore Sun. I got "The Santino" with Imported prosciutto, fresh mozzarella, extra virgin olive oil, fresh basil and tomato. Andy got a sampling from the deli and Marty got homemade, fresh lasagna. All superb!

It's a surly ride to get there, but the food is to-die-for. Definitely worth the visit if you are in the neighborhood. Good eats...not a lot of seats in the restaurants. Zagat's rates this neighborhood find as one of the best restaurants in Maryland second to Charleston's and Volt. Don't judge this book by its cover...the food is really excellent!

Let me know if you decide to try it!

Canton-Highlandtown
Di Pasquale's Italian Marketplace
3700 Gough St
Baltimore, MD 21224
dipasquales.com

Back to Back…Back to School

Today was a day! My three babies went back to school today, only they aren’t my helpless little babies anymore. Henry started second grade, Audrey first grade and my littlest, Stanley moseyed his way into Kindergarten.

One, two, three, just like that we walked down the familiar halls of Beth Tfiloh, first Stanley, then Aud, then Henry. Gone…like they were going off to college, I was nervous and excited for them and filled with mixed emotions. I wanted them to need me or cry a little at the thought of leaving their poor lonely mother who fed them, bathed them, and cared for them up-and-until the proverbial school bell rang…but there were no tears…none.

I was too nervous to even take in all the wonderful new reintroductions of friends and first meetings of their new teachers. With bags of labeled and organized supplies in each hand, I got each child systematically situated, gave them a tender kiss and hug and moved on down the hallway. Each teacher greeted the children with enthusiasm and warmth, I felt as if I was leaving them with a good friend. My children went nicely to their seats or to their friends and began to engage. It was harmonious and yet for some reason I was filled with angst. One of them would surely cry or need me in some way, but it just didn’t happen.

As I walked out of the school and through the parking lot, I felt relief. I did it. They did. We all did it.