The Talk? Really...In 2nd Grade

Henry (4) and Mommy

Like a comet that swoops down from the night sky, spontaneously, spectacularly, my seven-year-old son, Henry asked me last night, “How are babies made?” No, I wasn’t prepared, but in the back of my mind, I remember an expert saying, “Tell them, when they ask you.” So, I didn’t flinch, I just let him question me about the subject and out of the conversation came unexpected laughter.

Henry: “How do a mommy and a daddy make a baby?”

Mommy: “Well, just like the chickens, you need a hen and rooster. The hen has the eggs and the roosters have the sperm. They come together and fertilize the egg to make a baby.”

Henry: “How does the sperm come out of the rooster?”

Mommy: “From the penis. Throughout their lives, men create sperm in their testicles and women are born with all their eggs.”

Henry age 3

LAUGHTER, GIGGLES, HYSTERIA

Henry: “How does the sperm get into the hen?”

Mommy: “How do you think?”

Henry: “You squirt it into the girl’s mouth.”

HOLD BACK THE LAUGHTER MOMMY

Mommy: “No, think a little lower.”

Henry: NO IDEA

Mommy: “The vagina.”

Henry: LAUGHTER. SURPRISE. “What? I have to put my penis in a vagina?....You’re gonna have to blindfold me mommy, if I am gonna have to do that!”

Henry age 9 months

SMILE

Henry: “How do you know if the sperm reached the egg?”

Mommy: “You don’t. You could do it once or 100 times, only God knows when the sperm will reach the egg and make a baby.  That’s why you should wait until you are married to try making one.”

And with that…I said “goodnight, Henry.”

I felt content that we covered this un-chartered territory with dignity, intelligence, and levity. I told him just enough, and we laughed through all the new information, and now, thankfully, my son won’t think you spit sperm into a girl’s mouth to make a baby. 

And even though we had “The Talk,” I still feel like Henry has his innocence in tact. It didn’t change him, it didn’t make him grow up faster, but he feels comfortable thinking about the subject which is bound to come up amongst his peers.

I feel relieved that it went so well and I don’t feel like my baby, my lovable, sweet, kind Henry is any different today, than he was yesterday. Wow…I am sure glad I was there to see that comet coming!