Moving on...

The other night, I was having dinner with a friend and we started to talk about moving forward in our lives after divorce. No matter what the circumstances surrounding a break up, the truth is divorce especially when you have children is complicated, relentless, and difficult to navigate in the years following the end of the partnership. I recently compared it to a tight rope, an emotional one, which you teeter back and forth, up and down, trying to maintain your balance. That balance is tested by co-parenting; new relationships; the ever changing needs of multiple children; unforeseen decisions that have to be made instantaneously; financial worry; and the list continues. 

Me and my girl (August 2015)

So I gave my friend the one true resolve that has always help me navigate through life no matter the blow…forgiveness. It is not always easy to come by, but it is essential to the way I live my life. I believe that people are good. Innately good. And somewhere down the road, they lose their way, or they get an unexpected detour that changes who they are. I can’t control or change those things, the only power I have to my own personal happiness, is to forgive and move forward in my life focused on the good that is in it. When I forgive someone, I let go of the pain they have caused me and the power that that person once had over me is gone. It is liberating and pushes me forward each day with strength. 

In this new chapter of my life, I want to find the best version of myself and share it with the people I love. Happy thoughts….

Henry’s First Bar Mitzvah Lesson (March 8, 2015)

I had one of those unexpected grateful mommy moments this weekend. My 12-year-old son Henry had his first Bar Mitzvah lesson on Sunday morning in the awe-inspiring, yet familiar Beth Tfiloh sanctuary. As we approached the entrance to the doors of the hallowed walls, Henry’s tutor, Stan, introduced himself to both Henry and I with a welcoming smile. I asked Henry if he wanted me present, and he nonchalantly said, "You can stay, Mom."

We headed into the synagogue/school we have called home for the last 10 years. Uncharacteristically, empty and quiet, we sat as Stan carefully explained the importance of Henry’s Bar Mitzvah Parsha Ki Tisa. Henry sat attentive and respectful.  I began to feel the emotional weight of the journey that lies ahead as I sat a quiet observer.

After a few minutes, unbeknownst to Henry, the time had come for Stan to informally test Henry on his ability to read his Parsha. And without hesitation or even a flicker of anxiety, Henry read the Hebrew words as if it was his first language. I tried to choke back the tears, but I was overcome by my pride in a handsome, smart, kind-hearted son, that had listened for over a decade to the wisdom of his teachers at Beth Tfiloh and learned how to connect with the traditions that brought him to where he is today. Sitting in the comfort of his Beth Tfiloh home, singing the prayer that was picked for him long ago, I was moved by my gentle Henry’s composure and confidence.

As we walked away from his first lesson, Henry turned to me and said, “Mom, I am so glad I got this Parsha. I actually know what I am saying. Knowing what I am saying, makes it so much more meaningful.” And in that moment, I knew the years of hard work to nurture his love of Judaism with my partners at Beth Tfiloh had paid off. My son had found meaning behind the words, and it resonated with him. He was happy and at peace. He identified with being Jewish in that profound moment. A mother’s wish truly fulfilled…and it was only his first lesson.

May Henry find the road ahead filled with meaning and love for Judaism while honoring the memory of those who have come before him.