Life's Twists and Turns

On this week of thanks, I have spent many hours thinking about the different turns – minor and major – that life seems to have for me. Whether it’s leaving the chickens out to be slaughtered by the foxes changing my children’s course for a brief yet intense moment, or having a small disagreement with my older sister that spirals into an emotional conundrum, we all face bumps along the way in our path to happiness.

But I am always amazed, no matter how frequently I encounter these diversions, at how unprepared I am for each and every one. Maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe I shouldn’t be waiting for the next bad thing to happen. Instead, I live my life taking in and appreciating the good in my life – a spontaneous giggle from my little Stanley, my private conversations with Henry in his bed each night, or the fire in Audrey’s eyes when she is singing a top forties tune at a feverish pitch.

I guess it is better to just expect the unexpected in a way that doesn’t paralyze me from enjoying all that is good in front of me. And when the bad does finally visit, deal with it in its totality. Feel it. Grieve it. Understand it. Deal with it. Then move on from it. I think you have to incorporate all the twists and turns in your life as if they were meant to play a part in your happiness. I know it is easier said then done…for sure…but what else are we supposed to do?

My strategy is to surround myself with good people who support me whenever I am feeling weary. I don’t think anyone can bear the burden of this life on their own...it’s just too difficult to find peace in a world that inevitably shakes you up. So those of you who catch me before I fall, hold me up when I am failing, give more than you take from me…I thank you.

Have a happy, happy thanksgiving…and may you find peace in the company of those who love you.

Happy Thoughts…Jenny

Good Night, Sweet Chicks

What an amazing journey we have been on raising these three little chicks. They grew so fast, as we watched them blossom. We fell in love with them instantly…and watched over them with such pride and love. Now, Henry, Audrey and Stanley have proven to be the best three chicks a mommy could wish for.

 

After one long sleepless night, mommy woke to her little chicks who quickly mourned the loss of their ill-fated pets, but showed a maturity and understanding about the whole experience that showed their true resilience. After a very sad evening with many tears, my children woke with questions and thoughts, “How will I tell my friends?” “Will we get more chickens?” “I wish my chicken didn’t die” “It’ll be okay, mommy, we’ll be okay.”

I let the chickens out around 4pm and just forgot to put them back in the coop. I remembered around 6pm when we were driving home from dinner. The children ran to the coop to see if the chickens were there but sadly they were not...and we all knew what that meant. All three of the children ran to me in tears…daddy tracked down the remains…we had the children say their last ‘goodbyes’ to their loving pets….we had more tears…and lots of hugs and kisses. Mommy told them it wasn’t their fault, that it was a mistake, but as long as we have each other we can get through anything. I held them tightly and told them it would be okay. What else could I do?

It was a very hard evening, but already I have learned how easily young children can heal. Henry is excited about the possibility of picking out new chickens. Audrey is looking forward to showing her new baby chicks to her friends. And Stanley is just happy that his friend Matan is coming over for a playdate after school.

Mommy, however, is exhausted. Exhausted from the worry that comes from loving your children too much. But as I kissed my children goodbye this morning on their way to school, Stanley turned to me and said, “Mommy, I’m happy.” And at that moment, I knew everything was going to be okay.

Thank you to everyone who reached out to me last night and today for comfort. It helped us all to heal in a very real way.  All our love, Happy Thoughts….

Happy 43rd Birthday Andy!

As many of you know I have a very special man in my life. He has given me all that is good in this world…my children, my home, my life, and my happiness. Today is Andy’s 43rd birthday, so I wanted to take a minute to tell you a little bit about the man I love on his special day.

Andy is an extremely easy man to please. He is very passionate about three things: his children, his wife and his work…in that order. He is not a demonstrative man, but his actions speak louder than his words. He is home every night at 6pm to have dinner with his family. He spends quality time with each one of his children every week whether it’s reading their favorite book, kicking a soccer ball around or just lounging in front of the television. He is present in their lives and they love their daddy. Audrey, in particular, has a very special relationship with her father. He is the only one who can tuck her into bed at night in his safe, loving way. I always tell people, “if I have done one thing right in this life…it was picking the right father for my three children.”

Andy is a hard-working man who is always there for his family and for mine. He has a tender heart and a wickedly active mind. He makes me laugh and knows how to make me feel appreciated in his own unique way. I love him very much and hope he knows that I am always here to support him in all he wants to do in life. He is my partner, my love, and my friend.

I love you, honey. Happy, happy birthday. Your wife, Jenny

"Thank You"

Sometimes it is hard to comprehend the depth and meaning of the words “thank you.” I thought about it all weekend after a perfect day at my children’s school because I really wish I could impart what the words truly mean when I say them. It was parent’s visitation day for all three of my children, Henry (2nd grade), Audrey (1st grade) and Stanley (kindergarten). I was a little stressed out about juggling my time with each one, so between my twin sister Julie, my husband and I, we managed to see all three without skipping a beat.

Julie was amazed at how comfortable and confident Henry was in his Math and Reading class. While I had the pleasure of seeing Henry with his Hebrew teachers, Morah Stein and Morah Dina. Both teachers embraced their class with enthusiasm and joy…my son looked on with pride as I watch him. Pride in himself and his teachers…and all I could think about in that moment was how far Henry has come from being a very sick little boy with severe asthma that prompted frequent hospital visits almost every month for the first three years of his life to a happy, confident, well-loved 2nd grader. It was agonizing watching him struggle to breathe all the time, but Henry always faced it with ease and calmness. Now, when I see him laughing with his friends, waving his hand feverishly with confidence in class, I think about how thankful I am to the teachers who watch over him all day with such love and care. He used to be my fragile little angel, and now he is growing into a kind, smart, loving, boy who cares deeply for others.

Audrey smiled from the very minute I arrived that day. Her teacher Ms. Simon was brilliant as usual, completely in command of her classroom guided with compassion and intelligence. Audrey stayed focused and as you would expect of a little girl, performed for us like a rock star. Ms. Simon stopped at one point to say “hello” to me and introduce herself to my sister who was seated next to me without flinching or missing a direction in her lesson. It was like watching a gold medal syncronized swimmer in competition. I was so thankful at that moment to have a role model for my daughter who symbolizes strength, warmth and dignity. Audrey is not an easy child because she is strong-willed, opinionated and smart like her mamma, but Ms. Simon gained her trust and Audrey responds easily to Ms. Simon. Last week, Audrey came home and said, “Morah Ziffer said I should do things the first time I am asked. So from now on, I am going to be a good listener and do everything you ask of me the first time.” THANK YOU, Morah Ziffer! Audrey is a strong girl who has met her match in two amazingly strong, compassionate women. Keep on teachin!

Then you have my little Stanley. Small, but confident, focused yet fun. Content and happy 24/7. He has a face and disposition that seems to reel everyone in. My sister was watching him with Mrs. Waxman and Mrs. Lowenthal and said to me, “They love your son, Jenny.” I know they do. I watched as Mrs. Lowenthal bent over to give my son Tzedukah money, which I had forgotten to pack for him mistakenly. Waxman/Lowenthal is a mighty one-two punch…they are a knock down, drag out, powerful team of teaching excellence. They don’t miss anything and they love my child almost exactly the way I do every single day. How do I say “thank you” for that type of commitment?

I will lay it on the line and tell you that I have been through a lot in my life. I have lost. Lost my mother, my father, my brother and a baby. Nothing can replace them, or dissuade the pain of the memories that surface every time I have a good or bad moment that I wish I could share with them. But when I have a day like Friday, when I see and feel the attention to detail my Beth Tfiloh teachers have for all the children, my heart is at peace. Thank you, Mrs. Waxman, Mrs. Lowenthal, Morah Shapiro, Morah Shoshi, Ms. Simon, Morah Ziffer, Mrs. Balser, Morah Dina and Morah Stein. You all are the gift I give to my children every day and for the rest of their lives. Thank you for doing it so well and with such love.  “Thank you!”