As many people know, I am going through a very amicable
divorce after 13 years of marriage. And the one thing that I am acutely
aware of is the mental well-being of my children. Most days my children
seem very resilient and unaffected by the separation. Our family
therapist says that is normal because my children are so young and as
long as their egocentric needs are met, they should be fine. For a 7, 8
and 9 year old, they just want to know they are loved and ... can they have
another piece of candy or an extra hour of TV?
But every once in awhile, my children will experience a bump in the road, so we try to encourage them to share their feelings so they can vent and release the tension going on in their little lives. We assure them at every turn that we love them and are still both here for them though we live in different homes.
Henry recently confided in me that the memories of togetherness as a family were making him sad. I assured him that we would make new memories in this new family dynamic that would make him equally as happy if not more so. And last night proved to be a great example.
My three children and I were watching the “X Factor” on TV last night. We laughed and talked all the way through the show. At one point Simon Cowell, one of the most notable judges, raised his hand to one of the performers and said, “Stop…sing a different song.” We all got a huge kick out of his abruptness and when I put my two boys down to bed they began to mimic the exchange.
Henry, 9 and Stanley, 7 share a bedroom and as I tucked them at 9 p.m., Henry began to sing a pop tune, so innocently, so sweetly. The sound of his voice singing before bed reminded me of how carefree and innocent my children remain. As I sat there enjoying Henry’s voice, Stanley raised his hand and said abruptly, “Stop…sing another song.” I laughed and Henry gladly began to sing another song. This went on for about a half an hour. Stanley, Henry and I were all singing together in the end, and I feared we would wake up poor Audrey, who was missing out on all the fun.
As I left them last night to slumber, I felt certain that this would be a new, good memory that my sons would and could cherish going forward with our lives. It gave me great peace and happiness knowing that those kinds of moments inevitably present themselves when you least expect it.
But every once in awhile, my children will experience a bump in the road, so we try to encourage them to share their feelings so they can vent and release the tension going on in their little lives. We assure them at every turn that we love them and are still both here for them though we live in different homes.
Henry recently confided in me that the memories of togetherness as a family were making him sad. I assured him that we would make new memories in this new family dynamic that would make him equally as happy if not more so. And last night proved to be a great example.
My three children and I were watching the “X Factor” on TV last night. We laughed and talked all the way through the show. At one point Simon Cowell, one of the most notable judges, raised his hand to one of the performers and said, “Stop…sing a different song.” We all got a huge kick out of his abruptness and when I put my two boys down to bed they began to mimic the exchange.
Henry, 9 and Stanley, 7 share a bedroom and as I tucked them at 9 p.m., Henry began to sing a pop tune, so innocently, so sweetly. The sound of his voice singing before bed reminded me of how carefree and innocent my children remain. As I sat there enjoying Henry’s voice, Stanley raised his hand and said abruptly, “Stop…sing another song.” I laughed and Henry gladly began to sing another song. This went on for about a half an hour. Stanley, Henry and I were all singing together in the end, and I feared we would wake up poor Audrey, who was missing out on all the fun.
As I left them last night to slumber, I felt certain that this would be a new, good memory that my sons would and could cherish going forward with our lives. It gave me great peace and happiness knowing that those kinds of moments inevitably present themselves when you least expect it.
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